I feel like a mosquito at a nudist colony as I write this.
I know what to do, I just don’t don’t know where to start.
I took a couple of month off from the blog, or writing in general, to focus on some personal health issues and other projects.
Truthfully, as I wrestled with some pretty serious health issues, I lacked the inspiration to even try to write. The motivation just wasn’t there.
It’s taken me a few weeks to realize the intensity of the spiritual warfare I was facing. The antidote to spiritual warfare contains an element of worship. When you can worship God, despite your circumstances and challenges, it shifts your position. There is no power of darkness that can prevail against the heart that is genuinely bowed in worship.
For me, writing is an act of worship. You see I really feel God has called and equipped me to write. So when I use the gifts he has bestowed on me for his glory, it’s a form of worship. I think it brings him pleasure to see me embrace what he has called me to do.
But how do you express love in worship when you honestly just don’t feel very loved yourself at the moment?
It’s the question so many special needs families wrestle with every day. Many special needs families feel abandoned by their families and friends. Others wrestle with depression, isolation, despair, and chronic sorrow. For some there is an ever-lingering feeling of hopelessness.
Has God abandoned us? Has God turned his back on us and said, “You figure it out.”
We feel like our prayers are bouncing off the ceiling back in our faces, or that Heaven’s voice mailbox is full. Did God just forget to set up his voice mail?
We’re weary, tired, and frustrated. Quire frankly sometimes we feel all alone.
But we can not, we must not, mistake God’s silence for his absence.
Only when we lift our eyes off our present circumstances can we begin to dimly see how God was with us all the time. That’s why your life will never make sense to you at the present moment. It’s only in looking back can we see the hand of God at work.
Our lives aren’t what they once were, and we’re not where we will be someday. We’re living in the meantime. You and I get muddled down in the meantime. How do we hold on when we’re living in the meantime?
I yield my pen to the wisdom of renowned pastor and author, John Piper.
“Occasionally weep deeply over the life you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Then wash your face. Trust God. And embrace the life you have.”
Do you want emotional healing from your wounds? Then remind yourself of God’s promises and that his character never changes. He promises to never leave us or forsake us. Then remind yourself of all the times God showed up in the past and provided for you.
Here’s the tough one. Surrender your plans and dreams to God and embrace the life he has given you. It may not look anything like the life you desired or hoped for. But God is telling his story and you have been chosen to play this part in the telling of his story, so embrace it.
Remember God’s silence doesn’t mean nothing is happening. If you have kids you know that when they are silent and you can’t hear them, often that’s when they are up to something!
The times you feel the furthest from God are often when he is closer than you ever imagined.